The New Captain Canuck - Vol 1 # 1
T minus 7 days...20:12 EST...United Nations...
"He wants to see me? Why? OK then Kojo, just send him in...just leave the Benz idling"
"Captain Canuck! What is the emergency? You have an election to watch over! You must make SURE your countrymen make the right choice!
"Kofi! It's awful! I..I..I think I've lost my Canadian Values Mind Trick! The GREAT AND ALL MIGHTY PM is losing FAITH in himself...er, I mean, ME! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!"
"Hmm...this is not good. This means one of those Evil Conservative types MAY get in. The people of Canada cannot have that...no matter what they think."
"EXACTLY! Somehow, that conservative is changing the PUBLICS impressions of him and his party! Even in my, errr, the PMs old strongholds of Ontario and Quebec. That's why I've come to see you Kof...something is WRONG! My powers have become USELESS"
"Go on..."
"I've tried everything! The PM had me create the scary ads but they aren't working! People SEEM to be seeing through them!"
I thought I'd hit the jackpot with this one, but some of the Higher Ups in Canada's Party thought it was a little much. COME ON! Canadian Values are in DANGER! ANYTHING GOES!
"Captain Canuck! I think I have a few solutions until you regain your awesome powers of persuasion."
Tell me! TELL ME! I...I...I NEED A SOLUTION!
"Well, my first thought is, hold on...Kojo...get me the Soon to be King and Lord of the World, would you?"
"Really? HIM? No, you can't mean HIM...has he the time! Oh Kofi...!"
"Yes Captain Canuck...the one and only Bono! King to Be! When he speaks people listen! Everyone loves rockstars!"
"ARHGGH...everyone notwithstanding area code 905 senior citizens!"
Shit...
"KOFI! What else! I'm feeling helpless! GIV...erm...GIVE ME MORE IDEAS."
"I have one more idea...it's worked SO well ALL over the world! Maybe it could help you...er...Canada!"
"Stop beating around the bush Kofi...what is it?"
"This conservative mind-trick COULD, just COULD go against international voting standards! By getting the right man involved, we could MAKE the people of Canada BELIEVE there is a scandal!"
"Goddammit Kofi! ANOTHER scandal? I can't, I mean the PM cannot handle another one of those!"
"Captain Canuck...don't worry about the PM having another scandal. Please! Don't you know WHO I AM AND WHAT WE CAN DO?"
"Yes, yes, yes. I'm sorry, I know you and your guys can handle this. So how then? How can we start this off?"
"Kojo, sorry, yes...oh, stop being such a baby! SAKS isn't going to run away! Do me a favour. Get me Mr. C."
"Did you say Mr. C?!"
"I did...AH Mr. C! Captain Canuck and myself would like you to help us out..."
"I'm your huckleberry."
"Captain Canuck! What is the emergency? You have an election to watch over! You must make SURE your countrymen make the right choice!
"Kofi! It's awful! I..I..I think I've lost my Canadian Values Mind Trick! The GREAT AND ALL MIGHTY PM is losing FAITH in himself...er, I mean, ME! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!"
"Hmm...this is not good. This means one of those Evil Conservative types MAY get in. The people of Canada cannot have that...no matter what they think." 
"EXACTLY! Somehow, that conservative is changing the PUBLICS impressions of him and his party! Even in my, errr, the PMs old strongholds of Ontario and Quebec. That's why I've come to see you Kof...something is WRONG! My powers have become USELESS" "Go on..." 
"I've tried everything! The PM had me create the scary ads but they aren't working! People SEEM to be seeing through them!" 
I thought I'd hit the jackpot with this one, but some of the Higher Ups in Canada's Party thought it was a little much. COME ON! Canadian Values are in DANGER! ANYTHING GOES!"Captain Canuck! I think I have a few solutions until you regain your awesome powers of persuasion."
Tell me! TELL ME! I...I...I NEED A SOLUTION! "Well, my first thought is, hold on...Kojo...get me the Soon to be King and Lord of the World, would you?""Really? HIM? No, you can't mean HIM...has he the time! Oh Kofi...!"
"Yes Captain Canuck...the one and only Bono! King to Be! When he speaks people listen! Everyone loves rockstars!" "ARHGGH...everyone notwithstanding area code 905 senior citizens!"Shit... "KOFI! What else! I'm feeling helpless! GIV...erm...GIVE ME MORE IDEAS." "I have one more idea...it's worked SO well ALL over the world! Maybe it could help you...er...Canada!" "Stop beating around the bush Kofi...what is it?""This conservative mind-trick COULD, just COULD go against international voting standards! By getting the right man involved, we could MAKE the people of Canada BELIEVE there is a scandal!" "Goddammit Kofi! ANOTHER scandal? I can't, I mean the PM cannot handle another one of those!" "Captain Canuck...don't worry about the PM having another scandal. Please! Don't you know WHO I AM AND WHAT WE CAN DO?""Yes, yes, yes. I'm sorry, I know you and your guys can handle this. So how then? How can we start this off?" "Kojo, sorry, yes...oh, stop being such a baby! SAKS isn't going to run away! Do me a favour. Get me Mr. C." 
"Did you say Mr. C?!" "I did...AH Mr. C! Captain Canuck and myself would like you to help us out..." 
"I'm your huckleberry." To be continued...MAYBE...
posted by Kevin at 2:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home