Steel Wool Icing

Pandering

2006-11-25T06:29:00.000-08:00

This is for you Prime Minister Harper! If it weren't for your fiscal policy, you'd lose my support for the pandering bullshit you pulled this week.

Standing up for Canada...One Nation At A Time, eh?

Video of the Week: Portishead - Over

2006-10-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

A great group from a few years back. Their suppossedly writing new material...let's hope so! It's been a long wait!

Wonderful music to chill out with.

I'll be posting more political junk soon; I've been bored with it lately. So much going on in the world but my creativity is low these days. It must be fall.

Definitely not Hanson - Video of the Week

2006-10-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

I was going to post another video but this one caught my eye when I saw these kids with instruments and Sepultura in the title. I just had to watch it.

Glad I did...They KICK ASS for their age, especially the drummer! I think they're from Argentina.

If you're unfamiliar with Sepultura, they're a Brazilian Death Metal band that's pretty good.

And check out the guitarist's t-shirt. Is that Pokemon??? Hilarious!

These guys should be amazing in a few years if they keep it up. They have a whole bunch of videos on YouTube and all are really good.

Video of the week: Ufomammut - Mars

2006-10-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

Heavy-assed psychedelic thunder from Italy's Ufomammut. Great to view full screen with speakers maxed.

This band has some of the heaviest music I've heard in a long time. Quite refreshing.

Lethal Weapon 5

2006-09-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

I got to thinking.

Mel Gibson is an anti-semite when drunk (...yup, it was the booze talking...right...) and Danny Glover is a communist shitbird sympathizer. The two made four Lethal Weapon movies.

Well, I came up with something not even Richard Donner would touch...

Worship

2006-09-29T17:29:00.000-07:00

Retreat

2006-09-29T17:27:00.000-07:00

The All-New Video of the Week Post

2006-09-27T18:04:00.002-07:00

Ain't YouTube grand? From now one, each week I'll post a video - most likely a music video - from a group I like. Politics are getting me bored these days so let's mix up this blog a bit yo.

So, for the first post, I've chosen a video from a guy whose career I've been following for a good long while. He has or has had many projects and this is his newest: Peeping Tom.

You get a prize of some sort if you can name any other project this talented guy has belonged to.

Poster Generator Royal!

2006-09-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

Make your own here.

I'm sure I'll have more to come!

My Canadian Nightmares #2

2006-05-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

...In the same alternative universe as before...an NDP majority government...

"Good afternoon citizens. I'm Peter Mansbridge. We interrupt "David Suzuki - 'Global Cooling and Its Cause: Global Warming" with live coverage of the Fedaral Budget."

"Good afternoon. I'm pleased to present the Federal Budget. You know, we've really outdone ourselves this year and do you want to know why? I'll tell you why! We went to the YOUTH for ideas! This is definetly a first! Very progressive indeed!"

"You know, some have said that we need to find out from ALL Canadians what matters but I think the youth has the ideas we need this time around. Anyone who thinks otherwise must be wrong. And don't get ME wrong, we asked UNIVERSITY youth what is important to them and they know what Working Families, Seniors, and Students want don't they? Yes, of course they do."

"So, for these anouncements, my finance minister Alexa McDonough will show what these fine youngsters want and then tell you what we've done to listen. Sound good? Good...Alexa, it's all yours!"

"Thank you Jack. I love you. So, first, we asked a youngster from McGill what she thought was important. Here's what she wrote. Svend...the video please..."

...

"Yes...we know far too many Working Canadians, Students, and Senior Citizens are busy and may not be able to care for their kids and really, who are WE to question priorities. And EVERYONE should receive Universal Child Care. It's only fair isn't it? Yes, it is. So, we've allocated 48 billion dollars to set up more Prime Minister Jack Layton Child Drop Off and Early Education Development Facilities for our goal of having one in every town and city in Canada. We've also finally banned private child care clinics because they are, in fact, not fair."

'applause'

"Thank you, Jack. In the words of the great Brian Adams, "everything I do, I do for you."And, well, Working Families, Seniors, and Students. How fitting a song from a Robin Hood movie, you know, taking from the rich and giving to the poor, made me think of you. Fitting indeed."

'applause'

"OK, Svend, video two please..."

...

"Years and years of environmental breakdown due to SUVs and Industry have caused us to spend tax dollars on cleaning up our environment. So, we're banning all forms of home heating and we're spending 255 Million on synthetic envoironmentally freindly blankets that will be distributed to all Canadians this winter. Also, we've banned all forms of pesticides and all fruit and vegetables will be organic. Really, how big do your apples have to be! We're giving 700 million dollars to the David Suzuki Organic Fruit Fields of BC to grow and subsidize his fruit farms. Finally, we've banned all cutting of any trees anywhere. We're going to spend 3.5 billion dollars on infrastructure so that roads can GO AROUND any trees as required. You can email me for our 75,000 page document on Cleaning Up YOUR Environment for Working Families, Seniors and Students for everything we're going to do."

'applause'

"Svend..."

"oops...sorry...wrong folder..."

'laughter'

"here we are..."

"First, corporate tax cuts. We are ending all corporate tax cuts and signing a bill to end any cuts FOREVER. Really, why do these corporations need break? Eventually all of these are going the way of the dodo if WE have anything to do with it. The only good corporation is no corporation, isn't it? Yes, it is. So, these corporations, until gone, will have taxes increased 400% in order to pay for a variety of arts and cultural programs...things that are REALLY important to Working Families, Seniors and Students. I mean, we really SHOULD be more artistic hmmm? You can read more about this in the Canadian Reniassance Arts Project (CRAP) section on page 39,022 of our Financial Universality for Canada Today, FUCT for short, document."

"And no more free trade. We are getting out of NAFTA because we don't need to trade with THEM, at least not for free. THEY can pay for our goods if THEY want them. Really, what has free trade done for us? Nothing. If THEY don't like it, THEY can trade with someone else. "Free Trade" indeed. The only thing that SHOULD be free is healthcare, childcare, seniorcare, education, feminine hygene products and food for Low Income Working Famlies!"

'applause'

"I like this next one, EVERYONE will LOVE this next one..."

...

"Yes. The justice system needs to change. We need to develop more of an understanding of the root causes of criminal behaviour. We need to spend more money on re-education and councelling programs. We all know so-called "criminals" all have SOME good in them. That's why we're closing all penetentiaries and jails. We'll be using exisiting Wal-Mart buildings, when Wal-Mart becomes illegal in Canada, as mass councelling centres. When all these "criminnals" finally appoligize and own up to their misdeads, they'll be released back into society. And so not to hurt their feelings, incarceration will be limited to 3 weeks. If we can't do anything for them, well, we tried! We're allocating 8.9 billion dollars to hire new graduates in Social Work from our new state-sponsored "Law-Abiding Deficiency Understaning" program offered at all Ed Broadbent University locations across the country."

"As for our military, all Perform And Protect forces (PAP) squads will be leaving their posts around the world. We don't NEED to be anywhere else in the world UNLESS Kofi commands us to. Remember, what Kofi and the International Community THINKS is more important than anything else. The Minister of Foreign Affairs, Pacifism and Arts and Culture, his Excellency and highly regarded Global Icon and King To Be, BONO, has called Kofi to ensure our troops are back in Alberta to deal with some misgivings there as soon a possible."

...

"Mmmm...Rockstars. And this brings me to something serious. Some in Alberta have had a problem with the PAP as our military. A smear campaing has been launched by an unsavoury few and the PAP will be there soon to make sure this campaign isn't elevated. Let me be clear...THERE WILL BE NO PAP SMEAR IN ALBERTA!"

'applause'

Svend...

...

"Yes...free school. From now on, every family in Canada will be subject to a new tax called the Jack Layton Education Tax. Starting, ohhh, tomorrow, Canadians will have 8% more income tax added. This will ensure that Students get all the free education they need! Most of these new taxes will go to pay for more Socially Friendly courses at all Ed Broadbent University locations across Canada. Some of these programs include Arts, Music, Culture, Green Green Green, Labour Relation Law, and Socially Responsible Political Studies. What does this all mean? No more student loans! The kids don't want to be responsible for paying their way, why should we?"

'applause'

"OK, we have one more to go, an all-uncompassing theme that underline what this government is all about...Mr. Robinson..."

...

"Word Up Beeotch!"

'laughter'

"Seriously though, and we are serious about these things aren't we? Yes, we are. That's what this government REALLY IS all about...taking care of Working People, Seniors, and Students...from cradle to grave. From the time you let out your first cry in one of your local Tommy Douglas Medical Centres to your first look at the Jack Layton photograph in your pre-school Universal Day Care Drop Off and Social Development center, to your first, and last, unionized job at a David Suzuki Organic Wheat Germ Refinery to your death bed at your local Universal Retirement High Rise in Scarborough, you'll know that you're taken care of by us. We know what's good for you don't we? Yes, we do. And we have your money to help us. Our new spending should reach, oh, somewhere around 840 billion. dollars, but we'll get it somehow. From you. Thank you."

'applause'

"To finish I present to you the Almighty King To Be, BONO, who will sing our new national anthem followed by his version of "We Will Rock You"... a kind of serenade to the "opposition conservatives". Bono..."

...

"And there you have it. 'We will rock you' indeed. We now return you to David. I'm Peter Mansbridge."

Be back...soon

2006-05-20T07:10:00.000-07:00

Writers block and time management has been a bitch. The political climate is getting interesing again here in canuckistan after a few months and it looks like I'll have more material to add soon. I'm hoping to have something added by the end of this long weeked if time permits.

The day after...the Bloq

2006-01-24T17:32:00.000-08:00

"Good evening...I'm here at the Bloq Quebecois headquarters for an announcement to be given by Gilles Duceppe. Rumor has it that after last night's disappointing numbers for the Bloq, Mr. Duceppe will announce his resignation as leader. I'm also told that he...oh...here is Mr. Duceppe..."

"Good evening. Well, last night was not great for Kaybekors, but we in the Bloq did, well, alright, I think, but not good enough."

"We did, really, try our best, but, it looks like those federalists, they, well, did better. You know me, we tried our best and did it for Kaybekors."

"At this time, however, I think..., I think you may want another leader to help our cause for Kaybekors. That is why, I am resigning. I am tired and, well, I'm going to give the fight over to a guy who I know will do the right thing for Quebec and Kaybekors."

"This guy understands how we are, you know, not better, not less, but just, DIFFERENT. This guy is known by all Kaybekors and he will be a great leader for you and do what Kaybeckors want."

"I mean, when you see who this new leader is, you will understand what a difference he will make for Quebec and our struggle for a distinct society. And now, I give it to you, your new leader of the Bloq Quebecois!"

...

...

Election Prediction

2006-01-23T14:25:00.000-08:00

The New Captain Canuck - Vol 1 # 2

2006-01-18T17:08:00.000-08:00

Friday, January 20, 23:17 EST...Somewhere in Quebec...

"Canuck here...Bonjour...My Values are Your Values...how can I help?"

"Captain Canuck! This is Kofi. Is this line clean?"

"Clean as Hudson's Bay Kof! What's going on?"

"I'm afraid I have some bad news regarding our arrangement with Mr. C."

"Oh..NO NO NO! Goddammit Kofi! What happened?!" I was counting on him!"

"I'm sorry, but he's had to go to a very dangerous, poor country to ensure the folks there have a truly democratic vote. He's had to leave the comfort of his home for us Captain Canuck! We are SO grateful for his charity! Stop being so selfish!"

"...everything to your liking Mr.Carter?"
"...no, it ISN'T! This Filet Mignon is raw! Cook it, will you! Good Lord! Is this how you treat EVERYONE?"
"No sir...right away sir..."

"I'm sorry Kof...but..I...I'm...I'm almost at my wits end here! There's only this weekend to go. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO TO SAVE THIS COUNTRY FROM CONSERVATISM!"

"Listen...I have some information you may want. Mr. Harper has been invited to Crawford, Texas this weekend to go on a fishing trip with HIM. It seems to be a weekend off before the election of "Rest and Relaxation".

"NO SHIT?!??"

"Yes shit. Perhaps you can use your special Captain Canuck Technology to get pictures of them or film them together and make it look like a new chapter of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy".

"Pictures are out. ANY fine looking thirty-something Canadian male can manipulate photos on the computer these days...but the secret filming...THAT'S THE TICKET!"

"Excellent...I'll send the private jet to pick you up at four this morning. You'll be in Crawford by mid-morning. Think up a plan to see HIM and Mr. Harper together."

"We'll do Kofi...thanks a bunch! Canada will thank you!"

"Oh, I know you will..."

Saturday, 11:12 am...Crawford, Texas.

"What? WHO'S here to see me? It's almost fishing time Don! Oh, alright, send him in"

"President Bush! I am Captain Canuck! I need to speak to you and the others here about a matter of national security!"

Good LORD! Who the hell are you supposed to be. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen! And what's this about national security? What the hell does Canada know about national security?!?! Lord...DICK, GET IN HERE AND TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!

...

"Wha...Christ all mighty! What the hell are you supposed to be! What's with all the bloody red?"

"Dick...this here is Mr. Canada...he's here because of a "national security" issue! Isn't he the funniest thing you've ever seen?"

"Almost...and what the hell does a Canadian know about national security?"

"That's what I said!"

"heh...I gotta go tell Rummy about this. Talk to you later Mr. Canuckistan"

...

"OK...seriously, what's all this about national security? You didn't catch us marching into British Columbia to steal your fresh water for our golf courses did you?"

...

"Nah...I'm just kiddin again...we wouldn't actually march! But seriously, what's going on."

"Well, this is a very important announcement and I need to see EVERYONE here TOGETHER!"

"Well, I'm afraid the only ones in the building right now are Dick, Rummy and me. The others are down at the guest houses getting changed for fishing. And I'D like to get dressed TOO, so WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?"

"Shit no Harper in SIGHT!" WHAT WILL I DO? THINK!"

"Huh?"

"Nothing, look, I...wait...Hey is that YOUR hat over there..."

"You bet! Beauty huh? Keeps the sun outta your eyes real good."

"I bet!! Hey...can I...

"Sir...sorry to interrupt, but that twit Bono is on the phone...says it's "Urgent" as usual."

"Alright...I'll be right back Canada, hold tight..and Dick, get the check book will you? Eventually it'll "be enough" for the turd."

"I've got it!!!!"

"if i take HIS hat and get it into Harper's office...I can make an anonymous call to CBC to do an investigation on why Harper has HIS hat in his office! After the people see this, they'll REALLY think there's a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and forget all about "fishing trips"!

"Thank-you Bono! Thank you King to Be for distracting HIM!!!! MAN, I LOVE rockstars!"

...

...and into the drawers...

"HA! I will WIN. The election will soon be min...er The Illustrious Prime Minister of Canada's!!"

"Sorry about that...so...tell me, what's the emergency?"

"Oh...while you were gone, I, err, got a ummm call from Kofi and he said we could look at this problem next week...as a global thing..."

"Kofi huh? Well, alright! Whatever you think Mr. Canuck! You and Kofi are the heroes I guess!"

"It's Captain Can...nevermind...I gotta scoot Mr. President...Canadians need me for other emergencies! Take care sir!"

"Alrighty! Take care of Canada eh? HA!"

"Oh, I WILL. HAH!"

"Well, that was a Twighlight Zone morning!"

"Mr. President...ahhh...nice...the freak is gone...Mr. Harper is ready to go to creek...Mr. Harper come on in."

"Hello Mr. President. I'm ready to go!"

"Well alright Stephen! Grab your hat and we'll go on down!"

"Mr. President, my hat seems to have gone missing."

"Really? Hey, you're RIGHT! Only mine's there! I'll be...I wonder..."

...

"This strange guy just left a minute ago. He asked me about the hat. Oh, and he was from Canada as well!"

"Really. What was his name?"

"HAH! Get this...Captain Canuck! He had these red clothes all over him! He was the funniest looking thing I've ever seen! Damn, I should have asked him to stay for a beer with the guys!"

"Did you say Captain Canuck?"

"He did."

"He did. Captain Canuck eh? What are you up to Captain Canuck? What are you up to?"

To be continued...maybe...

My Canadian Nightmares #1

2006-01-17T17:30:00.000-08:00

In some twisted future...

"Good evening...I'm Peter Mansbridge. We interrupt the "Susan Aglukark and Rita MacNeil Canadian Folk Song Sing-Off" for an important press conference called by Prime Minister Jack Layton. We're told the Prime Minister is making an announcement on his overhaul of the Canadian Military. Sources belei...Oh...here is the Prime Minister. I'm Peter Mansbridge."

"Good evening. First, I want to just say that I'm so happy to finally represent the people. You know, it sure is great to finally work for you. Now, I want to tell you about how I've overhauled our military to make it more, well, peaceful and universal."

"You know, the world has to know that Canada is a peaceful and progressive nation. We need to keep our happy faces shiny and show our perceived "enemies" and those who may have a beef with us that VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER! We can't be offensive...we must be PEACEKEEPERS. You know, working families deserve better. Better healthcare, education AND a military that can HELP and understand the root causes of the "enemy"."

"Last week, I was watching a dancy thing on TV and I just about spit out a mouthful of chardonnay when I saw the idea in front of me on the screen! The next morning, I made a phone call and set things in motion. In two weeks from now, Canada's military will take on a new look and form. A more PROGRESSIVE military that uses violence only in the rarest of circumstances. Our new military slogan is Perform and Protect...PAP!!!!

"Barb...has he friggin lost it? Did he just say PAP??"

"That's right everyone! PAP! And do you know what we've done to implement this plan? We're getting a group together...a SPECIAL group. A group that will GROW and become more world-renowned than they already are!"

"Canada, I give you your new military..."

"The Cirque du Soleil...and here they are...the marching band!"

"Aren't they great? Perform AND Protect!"

...

...

"OK...I know you have plenty of questions and I really DO have all night, so, fire, err..shoot...ummm ask away!"

"Prime Minister Layton...how exactly DOES Perform and Protect work?"

"Well, it's easy really. We all know that, for all our "enemies", there are some deep-seeded root causes for why they don't like us. I mean really, violence won't solve anything! Will it? No, it won't. So, what the Cirque will do, is entertain or "Perform" for the enemy to both make them FEEL better and take their mind off the deep-seeded root causes! And for "Protect", if things do get out of hand, and the "enemy" has had a bad day, the acrobatic skills of our brave soldiers will cool them off in the most non-violent way possible!"

"What about equipment? Personnel? How will this all work? Isn't this group strictly entertainment?"

"Well, that's what I thought...but I talked to my new advisor and he thought that if I really pressed the issue with the Cirque, things would go along great!"

"New advisor?"

"Yes! That's my other announcement! BONO has graced me with the pleasure of using his knowledge of all things worldly! Bless him!"

"But back to your question. I've brought some photos of equipment and personnel. I'll be happy to go over them with you with Mr. Bono."

...

"Everyone loves a rockstar! Ok...here we go...photo #1..."

"First off, you know how greenhouse gases are destroying the earth and I can't stand for that! That's why we've taken all the older ground transports, tanks, and anything else using gas or diesel and replaced it with these wonderful environmentally friendly bikes! See! He's got a big stick to make the "enemy" think twice about getting snarly! And SEE him perform on one tire? Isn't he something?"

"...And not only that, we've developed a new water based system to be operated by our acrobats. This system uses really long pogo-sticks...NO FUEL. And remember...these acrobats have been training long and hard to do this. Just remember, don't let the kids try anything like this at your government-run child care drop-off location! We still have a few months to get the deep sea version of the stick, but we're training more acrobats AS WE SPEAK! Look at them! Look at them span the St. Lawrence! Aren't they great!"

"We haven't developed any human aircraft yet...I'm going to try to get the world to understand that not only space is bad for weapons, but so is the lower atmosphere! But if I can't get the world to listen, I guess me and Bono will have to think of something!"

...

"OK...on to personnel..."

"These fine people are in their new Peacekeeper uniforms. They are non-confrontational and a little humorous...just the kind of thing that may, just MAY make the "enemy" smile and forget about causing a ruckus. Don't they look smart?"

"Next, these people are showing the "enemy" how flexible we Canadians are in understanding their grievances! I'm hoping to get the UN to designate this as the universal pose of peacekeeping. In working person Canadian terms, the pose means, "hey, we're flexible, wanna chat about it?"

"Camouflage can be important, so we've developed a camouflage uniquely Canadian!"

"Umm...Mr. Prime Minister...isn't camouflage supposed to protect personnel instead of define them as unique?"

"What...have you got a problem with something being uniquely Canadian??? What...are you here from Fox News or something or a crony of the American conservative movement? What are you trying to say here?"

"Nothing sir, I just thought..."

"Well, we're being UNIQUELY CANADIAN with this new camouflage so the "enemy" knows who we ARE! OK? *sigh* Next..."

"Here, we have a member of our infantry unit holding our new weapo...I mean...self-defense apparatus. It's a water balloon filed with cold water. If the "enemy" gets wound up, the soldier can throw the balloon at the person to cool him or her down. And get this...the water will EVAPORATE in most places allowing it to be recycled into the atmosphere!"

"Finally, if things get way too heated with the "enemy", some of our highly trained martial arts personnel may need to come in and, well, subdue someone. We hope it NEVER, EVER, EVER comes to this, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want - like shop at that corporate bully Wal-Mart"

"So, anymore questions?"

"Ummm...yes...this all has to go through the parliamentary process of getting OKed, correct?"

"Yes..that's true. We know it will pass, but in case it doesn't, we do have a backup plan."

"A back up plan?"

"Yes..."

"We'll call in the Queens! They'll deal with things just as efficiently!"

...

"Led by BONO of course!"

...

"Anything else?"

"...un-be-liev-able..."

"No? Alrighty! Have a great night and remember who loves ya!"

"And there you have it folks...PAP...I'm Peter Mansbridge. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program. I'm Peter Mansbridge."

The New Captain Canuck - Vol 1 # 1

2006-01-16T14:27:00.000-08:00

T minus 7 days...20:12 EST...United Nations...

"He wants to see me? Why? OK then Kojo, just send him in...just leave the Benz idling"

"Captain Canuck! What is the emergency? You have an election to watch over! You must make SURE your countrymen make the right choice!

"Kofi! It's awful! I..I..I think I've lost my Canadian Values Mind Trick! The GREAT AND ALL MIGHTY PM is losing FAITH in himself...er, I mean, ME! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!"

"Hmm...this is not good. This means one of those Evil Conservative types MAY get in. The people of Canada cannot have that...no matter what they think."

"EXACTLY! Somehow, that conservative is changing the PUBLICS impressions of him and his party! Even in my, errr, the PMs old strongholds of Ontario and Quebec. That's why I've come to see you Kof...something is WRONG! My powers have become USELESS"

"Go on..."

"I've tried everything! The PM had me create the scary ads but they aren't working! People SEEM to be seeing through them!"

I thought I'd hit the jackpot with this one, but some of the Higher Ups in Canada's Party thought it was a little much. COME ON! Canadian Values are in DANGER! ANYTHING GOES!

"Captain Canuck! I think I have a few solutions until you regain your awesome powers of persuasion."

Tell me! TELL ME! I...I...I NEED A SOLUTION!

"Well, my first thought is, hold on...Kojo...get me the Soon to be King and Lord of the World, would you?"

"Really? HIM? No, you can't mean HIM...has he the time! Oh Kofi...!"

"Yes Captain Canuck...the one and only Bono! King to Be! When he speaks people listen! Everyone loves rockstars!"

"ARHGGH...everyone notwithstanding area code 905 senior citizens!"

Shit...

"KOFI! What else! I'm feeling helpless! GIV...erm...GIVE ME MORE IDEAS."

"I have one more idea...it's worked SO well ALL over the world! Maybe it could help you...er...Canada!"

"Stop beating around the bush Kofi...what is it?"

"This conservative mind-trick COULD, just COULD go against international voting standards! By getting the right man involved, we could MAKE the people of Canada BELIEVE there is a scandal!"

"Goddammit Kofi! ANOTHER scandal? I can't, I mean the PM cannot handle another one of those!"

"Captain Canuck...don't worry about the PM having another scandal. Please! Don't you know WHO I AM AND WHAT WE CAN DO?"

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm sorry, I know you and your guys can handle this. So how then? How can we start this off?"

"Kojo, sorry, yes...oh, stop being such a baby! SAKS isn't going to run away! Do me a favour. Get me Mr. C."

"Did you say Mr. C?!"

"I did...AH Mr. C! Captain Canuck and myself would like you to help us out..."

"I'm your huckleberry."

To be continued...MAYBE...